Establishing Online Dating Relationships: Safety First

Online dating can be fun. But don’t neglect safety and common sense when you try to hook up with a mate. At minimum, take caution in the following areas.

Protect Your Computer

Take care of your equipment and systems before you head out into the Internet realm. You need to have a firewall and anti-virus protection for your email and for when you search websites and interact online. At the bare minimum, you may want these two solutions that are offered at no charge to home computer users (i.e. not for commercial use):

Free Firewall Download: ZoneAlarm www.zonelabs.com
Free Anti-Virus Download: AVG Anti-Virus www.grisoft.com

Protect Yourself

Take care of yourself, too, by choosing appropriate dating sites. Seek and choose a reputable online dating service. How? Begin by asking around with friends, neighbors, co-workers and others you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. In addition, search “online dating services” and keep a notebook of their URLs or website links, the fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of each and any other useful information that spikes your interest. Then compare each place. Try only those places where you feel safe. Avoid the others.

So take care. Arm your computer – and yourself- with the correct tools and knowledge!

Honesty is REALLY the BEST policy.

When you join an Online Dating service, you are looking for a girl that you can like…even come to love. That girl is looking for a guy that SHE can like or even love.

What you aren’t looking for is a girl who would like your best friend or your idea of what the perfect guy looks like or talks like or thinks like.

So, in order to find the right girl for you… and she IS out there…you need to be completely honest with yourself about yourself when writing the online profile, during the dating process and beyond.

The best way to begin writing your profile is to carefully analyze your past relationship(s).

What was right? What was wrong? What things really made you like the last girl? Which didn’t?

Don’t assume that just because you hated that your last girl was so totally self-involved that she couldn’t see anything else, you’ll be able to overlook that quality this time. You won’t.

If you aren’t 6’1” with a six-pack to be proud of, don’t claim to be. If you are a bar tender, don’t claim to be a lawyer with a six figure income. If you are 40 going on 50, don’t pretend to be 30 something.

Remember, the idea here is to find a girl who will like you exactly like you are. If you have lied in your profile, the first face-to-face meeting will remove all her doubt that you are a liar…and probably a cheat, as well.

Lastly, once you have found a girl that you believe can be the one for you, for goodness sakes, cancel your membership to the Online Dating service.

After all, you know and she knows that Online Dating services are intended for those who are looking…not those who have found or been found.

Dating success is actually spelled A-B-C.

Getting back to basics can work wonders in dating relationships. So head back to school and go over the ABC’s of dating.

A is for agreeable and appearance. You need not agree with everything your date says. But act in an agreeable manner.

Bummer, but gruff, loud comments – and sounds (like farts and burping) can scare some women off – fast.

So can unkind, rude, obnoxious, drunk, sexist, racial and mean comments. So act like a gentleman and keep the focus light and easy. And when dating in person and not online, have a neat appearance.

No need for formal attire, but wear clean clothes without rips in them.

B is for body language. Keep the eyes where they need to be, gents. No lewd stares or even quick glances at cleavage – regardless of whether or not the looks are directed at your date or other people. And keep communications open with your arms relaxed, i.e. not crossed and closed.

C is for communications and YES, you need to do this. Unfortunately women don’t drop out of trees into your arms – or most don’t. So you need to get out there, online or off, find them, email, chat, phone or somehow communicate with them.

So back to the basics, gents. And then forward into battle of the sexes!